When I was single, I never expected that becoming a mom would be such a profound experience. The younger version of me thought motherhood was just something that happened naturally—a part of life that was ordinary and unremarkable.

But when I became a mom, I realized how extraordinary it truly is. Even now, I’m still in awe of what the human body is capable of. It can stretch to nurture another human being, share the same heartbeat, and sustain life for nine months.

Beyond the physical changes of carrying a baby, I’ve found that motherhood has completely shifted the way I see the world.

Sometimes, I joke that I look like Sulley from Monsters, Inc. when I lose my temper with my son (I know, it’s a bit funny). But overall, I see myself as more mature, thoughtful, and calm in handling situations—even when others around me are not.

One reason for this change might be the love my son gives me, as well as the love I pour into him every single day. It’s a kind of love I’ve never felt before—not even when I was single. Motherhood has shaped me in ways I never imagined, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Motherhood: Life as I Knew It

Back when I was just an ordinary girl trying to navigate the challenges of adulthood, I never gave much thought to the kind of mom I wanted to be someday. Motherhood felt like something distant, almost unreal. I was so focused on my own transition from teenager to adult. It was a journey that was already overwhelming on its own—much like it is for many young adults today.

Then, when my baby arrived, everything changed. I cried so hard, overwhelmed by the miracle of it all. A beautiful, living human being had come from me.

In that moment, as my hand touched his delicate skin for the first time, I felt an overwhelming desire to be the best mom I could be for him. I silently prayed that each day would make me a better version of myself—someone worthy of the incredible gift I had been given.

As I reflect on this journey, I realize how much I’ve grown—and how much I still have to learn. I used to be such an immature girl—easily emotional, quick to panic, and with a bad temper. Sometimes, that "kid" still lingers within me, and I’m doing my best to nurture her while pouring all my love into my son.

I’m sure this journey sounds familiar to some of you too. Healing our inner child is never easy, but it’s something I’ve learned to embrace. It's not always smooth, but every step forward is worth it.

When I think about the mom I want to be, I know I still have so much room to grow. If I could go back to my single days, I would seize every opportunity to learn and prepare.

Yet, even as I carry the guilt of things I feel I could have done differently, I understand now that motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about love, growth, and embracing the beautiful mess of it all.

The “Me” Transformation

I know, I know—I’m still considered a newbie in this motherhood community. But these past two years (almost three, including the additional nine months of pregnancy) have taught me a lot.

One achievement I’m proud of is how well I’ve been able to organize and juggle multiple tasks. In just 24 hours, I manage to prep my son for daycare, do my work, schedule doctor’s appointments for him, and still find time for household chores like meal prepping for the whole family and doing the laundry.

Honestly, I’m pretty proud of that, especially considering how much of a mess I was when I was single! Motherhood has really changed me, and I think most moms can relate to that.

On top of that, I’ve noticed that some of my friends and relatives now come to me for life advice, even though I don’t always feel qualified for it (haha). But maybe they see some wisdom in me after all.

What I Learned Along the Way

To this day, I truly believe that as moms, we shouldn’t strive for perfection. There’s no guidebook for being the “perfect” mom, and that’s okay.

Simply waking up every morning and doing our best to prepare for the day ahead—whether it’s getting the kids ready, managing the household, or juggling work—is already a big accomplishment, don’t you think?

While I’m proud of how far I’ve come on this motherhood journey, I’ve also learned the importance of accepting help from others. Raising a child is no small feat, and when someone offers their support, I try to embrace it with an open heart. Likewise, if I ever feel overwhelmed or struggle with something, I remind myself that it’s okay to reach out for help.

And, perhaps most importantly, let’s remember to celebrate the small victories along the way. Whether it’s a milestone for our little ones or one of our own, every step forward deserves to be acknowledged. Our children’s happiness is important, but so is our own. We are worthy of joy too.

By Fathi Aidiya Farisa