When I first started breastfeeding, I thought coffee was something I had to completely give up. I was exhausted, craving comfort, and missing that warm cup of coffee that used to be part of my daily routine.
But as I learned more, I realized it was not as black and white as I thought. Here are three important things I discovered about coffee and breastfeeding that I wish someone had told me earlier.
1. I Thought I Had to Give It Up Completely
In the beginning, I assumed caffeine was entirely off-limits while breastfeeding. I remember sitting at home in those first few weeks, completely sleep-deprived, watching my husband or friends enjoy their coffee while I sipped plain warm water and wondered if I would ever feel like myself again.
The idea of having to choose between my baby’s wellbeing and my own comfort felt overwhelming.
Later, I learned that up to 300mg of caffeine a day is considered safe for breastfeeding moms. That works out to about 2–3 cups of coffee, depending on how strong it is.
Knowing this gave me a huge sense of relief. I didn’t have to give it up completely, I just had to be more mindful.
For me, that meant allowing myself one comforting cup in the morning. I would sit with my baby in the early hours, when the house was still quiet, and let that warm drink bring me a little piece of normalcy.
I cannot explain how much that one cup lifted my mood and helped me face the day. It became a small act of self-care that made those long, tiring days feel a little more manageable.
2. I Didn’t Realize When I Drank It Mattered
At first, I just grabbed coffee whenever I could, usually when I felt completely exhausted. Some days that meant late morning, and other days it meant a desperate cup at 5pm. I did not think much about timing, I just thought coffee was coffee and I needed it to stay awake.
Then, I learned something that changed everything. Caffeine peaks in breastmilk about 1–2 hours after you drink it, and newborns process caffeine much more slowly than adults. That small detail made such a difference once I understood it.
Now, I try to have my coffee right after a feed, so there is enough time before the next one. For example, if I breastfed at 7am, I would enjoy my coffee around 7:15 or 7:30. By the time my baby was hungry again, the caffeine levels in my milk had already started to drop.
That simple timing shift not only helped me feel more awake but also seemed to make a difference in my baby’s sleep. I noticed fewer restless naps, and my baby settled more easily.
It was not about giving up coffee, but about learning to fit it into my day in a way that worked for both of us. It took a little experimenting, but it eventually became second nature, and I felt so much better knowing that I could still enjoy my drink without worrying as much.
3. I Didn’t Connect My Baby's Fussiness to My Habits
This was the hardest lesson for me. For weeks, I could not understand why my baby sometimes seemed extra fussy, restless, or unable to settle down. I blamed myself, I blamed growth spurts, I blamed teething even before teething actually began. Coffee was the last thing on my mind.
It took time before I started noticing a pattern. On the days I had more than one cup or when I gave in to an afternoon coffee out of exhaustion, my baby’s sleep was different. He seemed lighter in his naps, more irritable in the evening, and harder to soothe at night.
That was when it clicked for me.
I eventually learned that some babies are simply more sensitive to caffeine. It does not mean coffee is forbidden, but it means each mom has to figure out what her own baby can handle.
Once I started paying attention, I noticed that cutting out my late-day coffee made a big difference. On those afternoons when I was craving comfort, I switched to tea or even just a warm cup of milk instead. It was not quite the same, but it helped me feel calmer without affecting my baby’s sleep.
Looking back, I wish I had known all of this sooner. I wish someone had told me that I did not have to give up coffee to be a “good” breastfeeding mom. What matters is being informed, paying attention to timing, and noticing how your baby reacts.
Every baby is different, and every mom’s body is different too.
It takes a little trial and error, but it is absolutely possible to enjoy your coffee without guilt and without compromising your baby’s comfort.
For me, coffee became more than just a drink. It became a small ritual of care during a season when I often forgot to care for myself.
It reminded me that I could hold onto small parts of who I was before motherhood while still showing up fully as a mom. Because at the end of the day, caring for yourself matters too and sometimes, that care comes in the form of a warm cup of coffee.
Sources:
1) Caffeine and Breastfeeding:
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/caffeine-and-breastfeeding
2) Drugs and Lactation Database (LactMed®) - Caffeine:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501467